Living In The Past

Restless nights, feelings of desperation and heartache, an urgent need to change the past.....but you can't.  No one can.

If you are struggling with your past the most important piece of advice that I can give you is- let it go.  We've all done something crazy, stupid, or felt like there was something more we could have done.  What is in the past must stay in the past. What good does it do to worry about what you cannot change?  Nothing. It adds no value to your life but it does suck the life and joy out of you.

Maybe you are asking the question "how do I let go?"  Here is a great start:

• Accept that it was not meant to be. Boy this is hard! Maybe we loved and lost, or lost a chance at a fantastic job because we chose to pass up an opportunity.  If it is meant to be, then it will be regardless of what happens.  Sometimes we want something so badly that we can't see that it just isn't meant for us.  That doesn't mean that another great job won't come along, or that you won't meet that one person that is meant just for you. It's all about timing.  You are NOT doomed to live a life of heartache because things didn't turn out to meet your expectations!

• You have no control over life's storms.   You cannot predict or dictate everything that happens in your life. You cannot stop an untimely death. You cannot stop that perfect love from walking out of your life. You cannot stop that employment opportunity from being offered to another. You cannot change life.  What you can do is say "this is life's storm and I will sail through this.  It may be rocky but I will take it head on.  I may be hurting, but I will learn from this and move forward. I cannot control what is written in the Book of Life other than my actions".  That's powerful stuff.  YOU CONTROL YOUR ACTIONS.  You choose to grow, heal, move forward, and make more opportunities. 

• Stewing & focusing on the past is not healthy.  All focusing on the past does is make you sick with worry, guilt, sorrow, and darkness.  We've all been there and it's not a fun place.  Even if something was your fault, we all make mistakes.  Ask yourself "what is it that I am trying to accomplish by focusing all my efforts on the past?"  The answer is that you are somehow hoping to change it by banging your head against a wall.  Go and make amends, let go of the burden.  Look to tomorrow. 

I want you to make the decision today to no longer look to your past, but your future.  Look to living for today!  Think of all the possibilities for you if you just focus on your future.  Let go of the bitterness, remorse, sorrow, and pity.  Say hello to a new day, a new promise, a new life, a new you, happiness, and knowing that no matter what life throws at you--you got this!!  You deserve to be happy!

Miracles Do Happen....

I wanted to share with you my miracle story.  I know there are some who don't believe in God, but I do.  He is my rock and my strength. During my darkest hour He spoke to me.

I was diagnosed at the age of 16 with endometriosis as well as having multiple cysts. Endometriosis is massive scare tissue that builds up in the fallopian tubes, and all over the reproductive organs.  I was told I would never have children of my own, and when I was older to expect to adopt if I did want children.  I was surprised, and my heart was crushed.  I had always dreamed of having a family of my own one day.  I went home and prayed my heart out to God, and gave it to Him.  I told him I couldn't handle this, and I knew that He could.  He spoke to me as clearly as if He were standing next to me "I will give you a son.  You will be fine, but he will be born by Cesarean (C-Section)".

At the age of 26 I married the love of my life.  I became extremely sick and had to have yet another laparscopic surgery to remove scar tissue.  I had extreme amounts this time, much more than with the first surgery.  I recovered nicely, but the thought of having a family was ever present.

I had been feeling extremely bad and very fatigued, and was very uncomfortable.  I was urged to take a pregnancy test, so I did.  It was positive!  I just couldn't believe that it was positive.  I had been on birth control the entire time to manage my endometriosis.  Nine months later (January 2002), I had a son born by Cesarean.  Healthy and beautiful!  I remembered God's promise and sang His praises.  I finally had "my Sunshine" (what I call my son).

I had a few other laparscopic surgeries in between 2002-2005 to relieve the pain due to endometriosis.  That is when the doctor recommended no more children. The pain was great, and difficult to manage. My uterus had flipped almost upside down and attached itself to my abdominal wall. Again, I was faced with the fact I would have no more children. 

I had a dream that God told me to walk into the guest bedroom, and there in a white bassinet was a baby (the face was blurred out in my dream) with the name "Addie" written in script.  God said "I am going to bless you with a daughter".  I woke up with an indescribable feeling of peace.

A few weeks later I was laying on the couch and Jagger put his little head of my stomach (he was 3 at the time) and he gasped and said "I gotst a baby sister in there! I do! She's callin' me 'Bubby'!".  I looked at him and said, "no honey, you don't".  Little did I know I was pregnant.  God blessed me with baby number 2.  Our daughter was born October 2006 (4 weeks early and healthy).  I now had my 'Blue Sky'.  Oh, and she does call  her brother 'Bubby'!

I have learned to not doubt God.  He has always been there for me, talked to me, and shown me that He is able!  I will NOT give up hope for anything because He is my hope.  He knows my heart and helps me through life's storms.  The moral of this story is to NEVER give up hoping for your miracle!

Live For You!

Are you a 'people pleaser'?  Are you afraid of making your own decisions on what is best for you or you and your family for fear of upsetting others?  Well, don't be.

People who love us mean well, but the truth is this:  they aren't YOU.  Only you know what is best for you or your family.  At some point you need to separate yourself from their hold on you and learn to fly on your own.  Don't know how to do it? Try something like this:  "I understand you love me, and I truly appreciate your input but I want to make my own decisions and do what's best for ME". 

You need to fly through life's journey because that's where you learn.  You learn what you like and what you don't like.  You learn who to trust and who to distance yourself from.  You learn what suits you best, and what makes you happy.  All of these are very important lessons.

Try not to get mad, but simply tell them it's time for you to step up to the plate.  If you live your life for others based on their expectations you are keeping yourself from being truly happy.  Happiness is something that you choose based on your natural circumstances, not circumstances created from others' vision of what your life should be.

It's time.  It's time to spread your wings and fly as high as you can.  Fly because YOU say it's time.  Learn because YOU say you're ready.  Make a change and take a chance because YOU feel it's good for you.  Learn to make good decisions based on the mistakes you make.  You'll never grow if you don't know.

You certainly don't want to wake up one day and say "I wished I would have tried. I wished I would have done things my way.  I've lived my whole life for someone else based on their wishes".  I believe you have the power and strength to make good decisions and to break free!

A Dream Is Not A Dream

Do you ever have that itch to do something different?  Something that makes a difference? 
Be something that you've always wanted to be?  We all do!  Guess what?  YOU CAN!

A dream doesn't have to be.....a dream.  Make it real.  Put aside your fear of the unknown, or the fear of failure.  For that matter, banish "fear" from your life and mind altogether.  What's stopping you from achieving your dream?  Nothing. If you give into your dream and make it happen then you haven't failed, have you?  You have said "this is important to me and my happiness. I am genuine and believe I can do this". 

Years ago I was in this position.  I was wanted to be something that was going to take time and make a difference.  I was scared and didn't want to walk toward my dream.  I was afraid of failing.  I woke up from a dream covered in sweat.  God was telling me that I am only failing myself if I don't run and make it happen.  He would be with me, and I would make that change....and I did. I never looked back.

Decide to do something good for you! You are special, and you are important. Run towards your dream.  Use resources, work hard, and think about how wonderful it's going to be when you achieve your dreams.  This is ammunition to continue.  Don't get discouraged or overwhelmed. Just know that it's coming to fruition and you will feel a sense of pride and happiness.  Make it work! Everyone deserves to be happy.  Make a plan and set in motion what needs to happen.

You have a vision...open your eyes so you can see.

Positive Thinking!

I get lots of "flap" for my positive attitude, but you know what?  It's okay!  I would not change a thing!  There are some very important things that I adopt into my daily life that make it possible for me to handle what life throws at me.  I would like to share them with you!

1)  Realizing that no one is perfect:  You heard it right.  NO ONE is perfect and we all make mistakes.  How you handle that makes all the difference.  When you make a mess, mistake, or slip and fall, would you want someone to constantly pin point your failures? Do you want someone getting angry at you because you spill something on the floor? I don't think you do.  This is where the old saying comes in "Don't cry over spilled milk".  Is it really that important?  Learn to understand that people handle things differently, contain your temper, and don't judge. I am pretty sure there will be some who take this out of context (as there always are) but I also know they GET what I'm saying. Don't allow yourself to blow small things out of proportion.

2)  Be grateful for what you have:  this includes tangible items AND PEOPLE!   Don't take your loved ones for granted, because we truly aren't promised tomorrow.  Don't look at what you DON'T have, but what you DO have.  I am a firm believer that in order to be blessed by God you need an attitude of gratitude. When you start to feel sorry for yourself and say "I have nothing!  I hate my job, I have no real friends, I am not rich (even though I can make my payments on all my bills), I don't drive a Mercedes, etc.....that is the wrong attitude to have!  Change your attitude to say "I am thankful that I have a job and a paycheck so my bills are paid. There are so many people without jobs right now. Now that I think about it, I do have 1 or 2 good friends that I can count on no matter what. That is better than having 10 friends who truly wouldn't be here for me.  I may not drive a fancy car, but I do have a car that works and it's mine! There are people who don't have car to drive.  I am thankful that I do have transportation to take me where I want to go".

3)  Find the good in everything:  it is so hard to do, and takes work.  Once you start finding the good in things, the way you look at things change. The way you handle things change. Some questions and thoughts I asked/had when wading through life's storms:

• I feel so weak. How can I get stronger?  I learned to pray my through, and BELIEVE that this trial was meant to make me stronger and I was meant to learn from it.  Take it as it comes and you deal with it day by day.  Don't look at the long road and say "I have so far to go", but rather "I will make it through this day, I will learn all I can from it, and it WILL NOT take my joy".  I am meant to learn something from this.
• I believe that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  There always is.  I will see it soon enough.  God brings me through these trials and I may not understand it but I know I'll learn from it. This trial will come to end and I will see it through.
• Do I have what it takes to make it through?  YES I do!!  I will make it through because God gives me strength. I will come out stronger and better than ever before.  I will praise Him through this trial.  I will not give up.  All the great leaders in this world have gone through trials and I am no different. I can do this!!! 
• Let's see what I can do to alter this.  What can I do to make it better?  I will use my resources to find ways to change the outcome and remedy my situation.  There are hundreds of resources at my fingertips!!

These are three steps that I take in everything.  I simply refuse to allow the darkness that comes with trials and tribulations overtake me.  I will do everything I can to learn from it, apply what I learn to my life, and grow stronger in the process!